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Put Your Head on My Shoulders

Put Your Head on My Shoulders

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Books are useless! I only ever read one

A Flight to Remember

A Flight to Remember

That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t

The Beast with a Billion Backs

The Beast with a Billion Backs

There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Anyone who laughs is a communist! Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon.

Good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. excuse me, i'd like to ask you a few questions. we're going for a ride on the information super highway.
Here she comes to wreck the day. here she comes to wreck the day. alrighty then kinda hot in these rhinos. we're going for a ride on the information super highway.

Cold Warriors
The Ugly Side of the Moon

The Ugly Side of the Moon

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

The Birth of Lies

The Birth of Lies

Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!

Where No Fan Has Gone Before

Where No Fan Has Gone Before

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things

The Cyber House Rules

The Cyber House Rules

Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. You’ve swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

Fry Am the Egg Man

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming

All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Insane in the Mainframe
The Silence of the Clamps

The Silence of the Clamps

Cops, another community I’m not part of. You all right, Dexter? Like a sloth. I can do that. I’m a sociopath; there’s not much he can do for me. You’re a killer. I catch killers. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With

Sing along fellas!

I never loved you. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid.

Cops, another community I'm not part of. God created pudding, and then he rested. I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. God created pudding, and then he rested.

Dexter
All the Presidents’ Heads

All the Presidents’ Heads

The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies.

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